went for the meetup today.

just wasnt the same anymore.

getting less shufflers over there.

even the organizer came late,

made a move without telling all and keeping the speaker for the electro dancers.

but least im happy to see my HM members.

you guys melted me alot...

i will come back for you all.

=]

thanks for accpeting me back as a family.

=]

and went zirca.

meet HSRockerz after oh so long.

was happy that they never changed

=]

off to bed.

wednesday steamboat anyone?

Im not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

thats why, you cant the see the old me.

ah do is really no more, gone,faded,deleted.

gonna move to another blog soon.

this blog has too much bad memories in it.

another agenda.

zirca was fun fun!

haha

met rjin and the hsrockerz after so long.

even met with nas.

happy to see them all.

but shitty psychedelic trance.

psychedelic is too messy.

=]

and jonathan, better rest your fingers.

praying for your recovery now.

haha

still got time to follow me to buy watch ah?

give up!

i will be strong,

like how i dealt with my past experience.

which has been doing just fine,

im sick of melting my heart and expressing my feelings for girls anymore.

they just are some dumb species i guess which cant think properly.

they dont think through their mind, they think following expressions.

who doesnt give a chance to you when you messed up big time and wanted to patch back, but liking someone who was comforting her through her tough times.

i feel like im treated like a snack pack in 7-11.

if you get bored of other stuffs, then you will just come and find me back.

it feels like shit.

or even cant forget those guys who hurted them and thought i will be the same.

seriously, if you cant forget about that guy, go, try again. for all i care, dont think i never got hurt from relationships.

or even if she goes back to her hometown, she cant devoted herself to that guy 100%

lame. seriously, if far distance relationship is an excuse we cant make it, why can others do it, but not you.

i aint weak like last time.

and im laughing to myself...

to think that you those in the past are worthy to be loved and i lose control of myself to you all.

the tables have turned, you cant change me back to last time.

i dont wanna be the weak,sick,pathetic loser.

and to think girls i fell for last are very very special to me till i got hurt.

guess again... you all are not worthy

such pesticides and low life creature you all dont deserve to be a friend or someone to talk to and you all lost my respect.

and not to all of the women i met.

just a few people i know.

so no harsh feelings.

i apologise in advance for the other females readers whom are reading this.

thanks shushu

you made me cried!

=]

off to zirca!!!

=]

please, to you.

i know you care

but the more you come and say take care and i'll be your friend

the more i go *ughhh* and annoyed.

the more hatred it will be.

and i dont blame anyone of you.

i dont need all this shit again.

some people have different ways to handle a broken heart

just take it as my way

i want things to be simple,

if youre not important to me, i wont talk to you.

easy as that.

another agenda,

jonathan james edmund.

take care of yourself ok?

you almost cut off 3 of your fingers god damn it!!!

made me worried for the rest of the day only.

basket.

but hope youre doing fine.

gonna visit you tomorrow, dont worry

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything
That I wanted,
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away

All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

different path of roads.

please,

dont make me more miserable.

u did hurt me and make me sad already. it's enough.

why are you afraid of those gossips?

if youre happy with the person in the work place is the gossip so important?

seriously.

what outcome can you get if you keep holding on something that cant be yours?

you did tell your friend about this.

forget about that guy and move along, but can you?

give up...

you said your not worthy.

but to me you are.

i was dumb to let you go at the first place,

if you cant give trust to me,

then i have nothing to say.

just let me be,

dont come and hurt me more

and make me more miserable already

we walked our different path once and for all.

goodbye.

enough of this shit.


i wont open to anyone anymore

i dont wanna get hurt again


i've been dumb and silly

to think love is magical and sweet


to me now.
it's bitter and fucked up things to do.


goodbye and good grief

once and for all.

my heart stop beating

didn't even go the chance to tell you in person, and i got shot down.

Do, as yr fren im so glad that i can bring u d hapiness.

But i havent finnd my hapiness yet.

I take my job and d time being with friends as my medicine.

U guys make my life happy, but not my heart.

Now my mind is tranquil as water.

i still got d heart for somebody, but in what sense?

He is not d one i can give hope. Not important anymore......

At d same time, i cant take d heart pain again.

Havent cured yet...

Hope you can understand......

why cant i be the one to make you happy?

if you do give me a chance, i swear i wont break your heart...

bah...

this happened to me 3 times.

i had my chance, i fuck it all up

3 of you.

why cant you see?

i've changed

im not like last time......

sigh...

i was infront of you for you all the time?

but i guess,

im not worthy

it did break me,

alot.

i always do make my life miserable.

wish i could go back, forget about everything here.

i wanna rot myself to death in my room.

i hate it here even more.

goodbye.

I ♥ You

i'm always shy of expressing myself.

but i just want to say out something

liu yu-jen,

i ♥ you.

i want to be that person who will always be there for you.

i really do.

oh ya.

congrats to suttia for the upcoming wedding.

sorry i cant make it.

but have a prosperous and joyful future ahead with with your wife.

it's good to see someone getting married with someone they love,

=]

=]

girl oh girl.

you we're there when i was alone

asking you out for a movie.

keeping mochi for me so that others dont eat it all.

asking me wheter im fine even your at your hometown that time.

hanging out with you at tpy and saw someone stepping on a mouse

gave me hopes and smile when i was down

asking me to cheer up when i was sad

calling me up asking me wheter im ok

i know we have been through this situations.

and know i know, i've found something that makes me happy.

you.

=]

what's for dinner?

aww.... by this time back at home

i dont need to fuss what to eat..

these below makes me miss home more.

=[

beef noodle

mani chai

ais kacang

song kheng hai's belacan bee hon... aww....

salad chicken rice

kueh chap

kolo mee

LAKSA!!!

i miss home badly....

=[

i wanna go home....

=[

haha

Why no kulu kulu sound!?

cute cute.

=]

and btw.

saw someone stepped on a rat yesterday.

poor thing.

and short shriek and a crack sound.

then it just stop moving.

shiversssssss

and

thanks sophia.

slacking out with me, and being there.

haha

well enough said

here's to all

rocking but not for the scene anymore.

someone told me this today

Dom, do you got any outside problem?

Huh? no... why so?

No la, you seem different already, and it's not like you.

Why do you say that chef?

I think you really lost focus on your work, you seem to be forgetful these past few months.

Really?? Die! Haha

Not funny Dom, seriously, you've changed.

Erm... seriously chef?

Yea, last time, you came to work with your smiling cheerful and energetic self. You love your work

Now, seems like you quiet down, not active as before, and you're standard has gone down rapidly

And it's like really you are forced to come down here, and go back, and you lost your passion.

Are you really ok Dom? This is not you. Are you sick? Tired or stressed out? Is it because of your breakup last time it affected you?

Do you need a vacation Dom?

........

I'm sorry chef, i will do my best in future.

i wont dissapoint you next time.

Please take care Dom, we really need the old you back. =]

We missed the old you. Funny, charming, blurish, cursing here and there if youre stressed out.

Anything, you can find me.

Thank you chef.

Hmm......

Did i really change to that?

I think it did after today.

Maybe it's just a phase.

Even my shuffle friends said so.

I lost my touch, my smile, my funny laughter.

Even slackshoes "Ah Do, i know youre changing, it's good, but please dont change to worst ok?"

Helmy saw me and said "Ah Do, you changed alot sia!"

I was left speechless.

but i think mean i lost my zen, im very quiet recently.

Even at work i did ignore Sabrina,

cause just i thought just forget bout everything in the past and mind my own businees.

Until today i saw her face to face, ignore her and she called my name i didnt replied.

Until she yelled:

"DOMINIC!! Whats going on?! Why are you like this now??? This is not you!!!!! I Hate you."

i even saw tears while she walked away.

This is the second time i made a girl cried with my actions.

Another great thing to do.

Seriously, after this. I'm gonna be ignored by all the ladies staffs tomorrow.

Seriously, i feel fine, my emotional state is balance, i dont cry myself to bed.

i eat regulary but still getting skinnier.

Is it cause of the gene-generation leukemia?

FUCK NO! I DONT WANNA DIE SOON!

haha.

but yea.

gonna check up my lungs.

seem to be coughing lot now.

don't worry i'll be strong

haha

=]

i know i will.

i've been through this alone for the past 3 months.

=]

pray i dont hear the word operation, hospital or positive for leukemia.

i cleaned up my wardrobe. and gosh lots of unwanted things i saw.

for an example.

my shuffling gears.

so, guys, i'm selling off all my shuffle gears.

pictures below:

i canX shuffle tee(L) $25, Hazard Minors tee *Long Sleeve*(L) $25, F**K Battle tee *ah do aka cyroghenics* (M) $25, E.M.O tee *Pink* (M) $25
price are negotiable. only for singapore.

baxx classic tee(L) $70, baxx royale *blue*(L) $60, baxx royale *grey* (M) $60, Hardstyle Republic 9th edition (M) $70
price are negotiable. only for singapore.

baxx v2 *ltd edition* (M) $200, baxx classic tee(L) $70.
price are negotiable. only for singapore.

baxx v4 (M) $140, baxx icecream (M) $140.
price are negotiable. only for singapore.

baxx v4 (M) $140, baxx icecream (M) $140.
price are negotiable. only for singapore.

i only accpet full payment.

no installments. =]

contact me if you interested

oh ya...

i had my very FIRST subway dinner with sophia.

haha.

ordered Italian B.M.T with pamersan oregano bread.

lol

extra olives extra lettuce and a dab of sweet onion vinaigrette .

i think it's better than a McSpicy.

and thanks sophia accompanying dinner with me.

then headed to watch 2012.

kinda nice, touching story too..

and sophia, sorry la!

i thought you said the president was cute,

how would i know you were talking about the indian geologist son.

give up!!

=]

damn november rain

hate it.

makes me lazy and tired.

i wanna go out~!

when im with her

she's caring, understanding

i feel warm and safe

we dont quarrel much

when im with you

you're unreasonable and rebellious

i feel sad and insecure

we quarrel most of the times

when i was alone

she was there for, cheering me up.

you.... you did nothing.

i was dumb,

i was blind,

so after all this.

i know clinging on something so stupid.

its not worth it.

so i say goodbye to you with a kiss.

thanks for the chocolates you all.

=]

life is like a box of chocolates,

you'll never know what will you get.

last text i got,

thank you uncle Ng

do, asleep already?

if you are, good, dont bother to reply, you need your rest. =X

but wish i was beside you, watching you falling asleep.

it's just so adorable. awwwww...... :)

i cant bear to see you like this :(

i wish i was strong like you

if i do have 1 wish that makes it come true, it's you and me, do

i really love you. :)

even you came back for holidays

i was so nervous or anxious to see you.

even though it's not the same, but im just glad that i can see you,

because you meant a lot to me :)

i want you mine forever, teehee...

i remembered how we met,

party at my friends house and there you were, standing in front of me mingling with your friends.

:)

really fun times. you we're really a geek that time.

appearance do change, but inside you're still you.

im glad that you never changed a lot.

but, it hurts to see someone i love to get hurt.

really, i feel so weak and helpless, i know you're all alone, but do remember

i'll always be there to help you cross any obstacles you're going through.

i hope you and her do go back together, even it kills me but, i just want you happy.

:)

hehe.. sorry for this sms

i know it's not the right time to write this but,

it's better late than never.

so, cheer up, or do you still wan me for you to play a song for you?

hehe... its up to you.

talk to you later ok?

if there's anything, call me or text me.

you know i'll be there

well gtg now, bb, sweet dreams ya. =X

you're still you even in sms.

=]

thanks for the final sms

and thank you for being there.

unappreciated you.

i got a phone call at 6.45am yesterday.

it was her number, but it wasnt her at the phone.

are you ah do?

er... yes? who's this?

im her father.

eh? hello uncle, how are you? long time no see, why did you call me?

what i just wanted to say,

she was hit by car this morning, and she didnt make it in the ICU.

just want to let you know, the story...

the only thing i can from behind is sobs and weeping in the emergency room.

i was numb.

i was speechless.

completely blanked.

on the 5th November 2009, 6.45am.

you have left us from this world to join the Lord.

for the past few months, you saw me suffering.

you were always there, comforting me,

even though your back there, you always had faith on me.

ah do, i know you can do it, you're not that weak,

and i exploded on here saying

you dont know how it's like to lost someone you love

yes, you were my first love,

and still over there, you tried your best and never gave up on me

cried and cried that you wanted me back badly.

even though i had someone that time,

even i wasnt attached and missing someone else,

you still were cheerful and waited for me.

i remembered how you played the piano

playing wait for you through my webcam,

i remembered you post those chocolates for my birthday.

gosh with a letter that i just threw out.

accompanying and visited my parents, cause i told you they felt lonely and missing me.

even helped my sister to celebrated her birthday.

even was there at my operation room when i had my lungs operations.

and i just ignored you and told you to get lost.

really those sayings were true

you never regret till it's gone,

now youre gone,

i hope you can rest peacefully,

i hope you are doing well.

i hope you can just understand this.

i'm sorry that i didnt appreciated you from the start

i remember how u wanted to hang on even i said i wanted to stop this

you were still compromising my bad temper and tantrums.

really, even last night after i had a long conversation with her,

you told me everything is going to be ok.

im yours whenever youre ready.

with a cheerful face.

but now, i cant see that smile anymore.

i cant even talk to you, or text or call you anymore

how is it going to be ok? it adds more pain for what i got now.

but after all this, i guess i wasnt meant to be loved by others,

cause i dont appreciate, but for you,

i will change, i know you'll be watching from the clouds above.

and with your special smiling face.

but for now, im pretty sure i wont start a relationship that soon.

i gotta need some time alone..

even away from my friends.

goodbye,

rest in peace.

and yea, im pretty sure.